We're going to be okay we're going to be fine just like the first time
by ostin
Summary: Kurt and Blaine were married for 22 years, everything had changed. They have kids, and life must be perfect for them. But still the past mistake continue to haunt them down.


**Disclaimer: I own nothing; some characters belong to R.I.B. and Fox.**

AN: Some story background, Kurt and Blaine are married for 22 years, when things start to fall apart.

**Blaine's POV**

It was already 1 am when I arrived home. I carefully went inside and check on the twins, they look peacefully asleep. This has been my routine every time I came home late from work, to check on them before going to bed.

I quietly went inside our bedroom to see Kurt already asleep with his glasses on. We've been married for 22 years and that were the best times of my life, especially having kids together. But sometimes things change even we didn't want them too, they just did.

It's like we lose ourselves as years passed by, and I am afraid that someday Kurt will give me some papers asking for divorce. I didn't know when all of this started I just realize that we started to disagree all the time resulting me to sleep in our guest room, sometimes we just screamed at each other fighting about small things even the common ones.

One time, Kurt hits my sore spot.

_Flashback_

_I carefully tiptoed to our bedroom when Kurt suddenly called my attention._

"_Hey, I thought you were asleep."_

"_I can't because my husband is still doing god-knows-what- outside" His voice was thick with accusation._

"_What's that supposed to mean?"_

"_Are you screwing someone again?"_

"_You think I'm having an affair because I'm coming home late most of the time?"_

"_Well because it looks like you are."_

"_I'm at work Kurt! Why would you think of that?"_

"_Because you did it once…" He trailed off._

_That hurts a lot hearing those words coming out from him. I stared at him for a moment and shrugged my head sadly._

"_Looks like you never had forgiven me back then." I replied as I picked up my pyjamas._

"_Where are you going?"_

"_I'm sleeping at the guest room, don't worry I'm not running off to sleep with someone like what you are thinking every time I came home late."_

_I heard him sigh as I close the door. That was a low blow; Kurt knows how vulnerable I am when we talked about this cheating thing._

Then our set up continued, I never slept at our bedroom anymore. The kids knew what is happening between me and their dad.

I gave Kurt a kiss before leaving the room, just another night where I will sleep at the guest room.

I tossed and turn but I can't sleep, it's been hard sleeping without my husband beside me, I miss the warmth, the cuddles and the moments where we're just there lying in our bed talking about everything.

I opened a beer and sat on the living room, when I heard footsteps behind me.

"Papa?" A soft voice called me.

It was Elizabeth, my princess who's turning 18 this year dame with her brother.

"Hey, you are supposed to be asleep Miss." I greeted her as she sat beside me.

"You too Mister. You can't sleep pap?" She playfully scolded me as she snuggled closer.

"Yeah, maybe drinking this will help." I replied as I raised the bottle.

"You can't sleep because you miss Dad."

"Yeah, I miss his warmth, everything."

"What's going on Pap? Please don't tell me I will not understand if you remember I am turning 18 this year."

"You're still going to be my princess and Steven will be my little prince. Even when you grow up."

"We know, because you and Dad love us so much. But seriously Pap, what's going on between the two of you? You didn't sleep in your bedroom anymore, whenever you and Dad talk it's either who's picking us from school or if the bills were paid."

"Honestly, I don't know what's happening between me and your Dad, it's like we were slowly drifting apart, giving up on each other. And believe me I want to fix this but I really don't know how."

"Steven and I talk about you and Dad sometimes, we were afraid that someday we will wake up with the two of you heading for divorce, just like any other parents who doesn't know how to fix their relationship anymore." That hurts, knowing the kids are being affected by what's happening between their fathers.

"Do you know that your Dad and I were one of the power couples in Mckinley, ranking 2nd place after your Uncle Finn and Auntie Rachel."

"Really? Even you were gay?"

"Even, we are Gay.

"Will you give in to the divorce Pap? If Dad asked you to?" Elizabeth seriously asked as I wrapped my arms around her.

"I will, why? Because I don't want you, your brother and Dad to suffer from this marriage anymore. I don't want the two of you to see us like this, like when one of us sleep on the guest room because we can't stand to sleep together anymore or when we disagree and end up screaming at each other. This is not the the family I wanted for you and your brother, this is not the type of family your Dad and I had planned." I was starting to cry as I revealed all these to my daughter. I heard Elizabeth sniffles softly, then I felt arms around us. It was Steven; it looks like he's been crying too.

"Come here bud," I told him as I tapped the empty space beside me.

"Please, talk to Dad. Figure things out." Steven pleaded.

"We tried talking but it doesn't work out on us anymore. I miss your father everyday even I saw him here."

"If you and Dad got divorce, will you separate me and Elizabeth like taking our custody?"

"No, I wouldn't do that and I'm sure your Dad wouldn't want to. But if you will let me chose, I will be in peace if you and Lizzie stay here with Dad."

"Don't you want to take care of us?"

"Of course not! It's just Dad has been the best father to both of you. I worked out late; I often have business trips that take weeks or sometimes months. I can't take care of you if I am the super workaholic Pap."

"You are not that bad." Steven replied.

"Really?" I softly laugh with sarcasm.

"Yes, because you were the one who taught me how to ride a bicycle, you taught me how to love sports and most of all you taught me how to treat and woo girls. Even you are gay."

I laughed at Steven's descriptions.

"You may not be the best father, but you love us perfectly."

I give the twins a forehead kiss. "Always remember that whatever happened between me and Dad, I will still be your Papa. Nothing will change you two, are still my wonder twins and above all I will still love your Dad whatever happens."

**KURT'S POV**

I heard the soft opening of our bedroom; I glanced at the clock beside me it was 1 am. Blaine came home already. I felt the bed shift beside me but I continue to pretend to be asleep.

Blaine carefully took off my reading glasses and set it aside knowing in the morning I'll be too frustrated to search for it. Then he gave me a kiss on the forehead before leaving the room. It has been our set up for 6 months now, him staying and sleeping at the guest room. Him sneaking out in our bedroom to give me a kiss which he knows I am not aware of but I am. I didn't even know why we end up like this, come on we had survived the most painful times but it's like we were slipping off again.

I thought that as years of being married passed the communication get better but for us it wasn't. Blaine and I always have a problem talking about our feelings and if chances allow us to talk we end up screaming at each other.

I watched him silently left our room, I miss him. I miss his cuddles, his presence beside me saying I am safe. I miss my husband, and every night this set up happens, I can't do anything to make him stay. Every morning I always look at his ring finger to see if he's still wearing our ring and he is. It's just one of the things that let me believes that we can still work this out.

I decided to go to our kitchen to drink something, when something caught my attention in the living room. The twins and Blaine were all cuddle up on our couch. It looks like Blaine is telling them something.

Lizzie is asking if I asked for divorce will he gave it to me. I know, the kids are being affected by this even they seem oblivious about it. I don't want them to suffer from this. It was Blaine and mine's mess and we should work it out for the kids and for us. We been through a lot, just to give up on this and I can't lose my family. I just don't know how to fix this, because I didn't even know how all of these started. I heard Blaine answered Lizzie's question in honesty which made the three of them cry, and which made me breakdown too.

I love Blaine, it just that sometimes love isn't enough to make your marriage work. I quietly returned to my room and didn't even realize I cried myself to sleep.

Next Day...

I am preparing our breakfast as the twins settled down in the kitchen.

"Morning Dad." they both greeted me with my good morning kiss.

"Good morning." I greeted back with a smile as I laid down our breakfast on the table. Then I saw Blaine coming downstairs.

"Morning Pap." the twins greeted him, same with mine giving him a good morning kiss.

"Morning guys," He replied as he prepares his coffee.

The twins look between us, probably waiting who will be the one to break the tension. But none of us did.

"What time is your game tonight?" Blaine asked Steven as he sip his coffee.

"6 pm. But Uncle Finn wants us earlier about 4 to do some stretching and everything."

"All right, I'll see you later on the field." He gave the twins a kiss and me a force smile before leaving.

After Blaine left...

"You too come on; finish your breakfast before the school bus arrives."

_**GAME NIGHT...**_

The whole family is present tonight, supporting Steven on his football game. Sitting arrangement, Rachel, me, Lizzie, Carol and Dad.

And Blaine isn't still here.

"Is Blaine coming?" Dad asked as he take a bit from his sandwich.

"Yeah, maybe he got stuck in traffic."

"I am filming this game, my boys are in there."

"Come on Rachel, you filmed all of their games."

"I am a stage mother and wife Kurt. Don't pretend you didn't do it with Lizzie's performance in Glee club's sectionals competition. And Blaine for the record is like me. A stage dad, Filming all Steven's game"

I snorted at Rachel and went back looking at the boys preparing for their game.

"Blaine!" Rachel exclaimed as he sits beside her.

"Luckily i found you guys easily with these nosy crowds around here."

"All is waiting for this game, because whoever wins will fight in the football league for school division."

"Blaine." Dad called him even they are 4 people apart.

"Burt." Blaine nodded with a smile for Carole and my dad.

Then we saw Finn walks up..

"That's my husband. Finn!" Rachel screamed excitedly as I covered my ears.

Finn waved back to us. And look at Rachel, the same look they always shared back in high school.

"I Love you." Rachel mouthed.

"I love you too." Finn mouthed back.

"That was sweet..." Lizzie exclaimed with adoration.

"Well, thank you Liz. That's my good luck charm to your Uncle Finn." Rachel stated proudly.

"It doesn't always work." I butted in bitterly.

"Yes, but it works whenever we fight or disagree."

"Hope that simple I love you like that will fix everything." I whispered while checking up my phone. Seriously, Rachel and Finn were still sweet as ever unlike me and my husband who is now still busy arranging the video camera for Steven's game. He doesn't even take a glance on me.

"You too act like strangers, are you even like this at home?" Rachel carefully whispered so Blaine will not hear our conversation.

"Yes, and please lower your voice, he may hear you."

Then Blaine looked at me and Rachel, luckily my sister in law distracted him by saying they are both stage parents. In which Blaine replied with a laugh, I miss that laugh and smile.

The game started with a heated moment, when one of the guest players attacked the Titans in which Finn reacts as a coach.

God, I wish Steven will be okay, same with my nephews. My son was their quarterback, that's why I am afraid. Every time I watched his game, I can't stop feeling that something may happened to him because of what I always witnessed in football.

Things heated up more as time passed by, they are down in their last minutes and it's like a tie breaker moment.

Steven was holding the ball and looking out for his team mates open up to pass the ball when….

A large member of the opponent team knocked him down. Oh my, that's my boy out there in the field. I resist the urge to go to the field immediately knowing my brother is with him.

Finn called the time out, and rushed to Steven, Blaine and I were standing already in the bleachers. Rachel and Carole were trying to calm Lizzie down. My dad was looking out also, he was scratching his head, like he did when he was nervous or frustrated. Steven isn't still moving, Finn called for paramedics this doesn't look good. This is the first time it happened usually after being knock down, he easily get up and returned to the game but now, it's different.

Paramedics came to pick him up, as the game stops.

"Lizzie, we have to make sure that your brother is all right. Stay with your Grandpa and Grandma. Okay?"

"Is he going to be okay?" She asked with sniffles.

"I hope so, honey." I replied as I gave my daughter a kiss.

Blaine grabbed my hand without a doubt as we went down to the dugout, to see Finn looking out for Steven at the ambulance.

"Thank God, you two went down. ' They're his parents.' "Finn told the paramedics.

"How is he?" Blaine asked as we ride inside the ambulance.

"He's still unconscious Sir, and we have to make sure if there's a haemorrhage. There's also a broken arm, ribs and neck."

"Is he going to wake up?" Blaine tightened the hold in my hand as I asked.

"He will Sir."

We arrived at the hospital, after 15 minutes. That's the longest ride of my life especially having my son inside that ambulance. The doctors rushed him inside the Emergency Room telling us to settle down in the waiting room, we sit together in the chair. No one bothered to talked, it's the first time in 6 months we've been close like this. Like I can smell my husband's perfume again, the gel that he used. Everything.

"I can't lose him Blaine." I sobbed.

"Sshh, our son's going to be fine. " He whispered as he hugged me closer.

After 10 minutes, the family arrives.

"Dad, Pap." Lizzie sobbed into Blaine's chest.

Blaine just hugged our daughter while she continued to cry.

"I'm sorry Kurt, if I just looked out for him." Finn told me guiltily.

"No, Finn. This isn't your fault. So don't ever blame yourself." I scolded my brother as I hugged him.

"We all know how risky this sport is." Blaine replied as he calmed down Lizzie.

I looked at Dad, he opened his arms and I just cried as he gave me his bear hug.

"Your son's going to be all right, he's a strong boy like his fathers." Dad reassured me.

After 2 hours, the doctor went outside to talk to us.

"Parents?" He inquired while looking at us.

"Us." Blaine replied as we stood up.

"Well, Steven is now in stable condition with bruises and broken bones and a head concussion. I requested for a brain scan to see if there are haemorrhage."

"Is he going to wake up?" I asked for the second time,

"He will, maybe tomorrow morning but for now he's asleep, we gave him some pain killers that induced sleep."

That was a relief, but that doesn't mean that nothing is wrong he hit his head badly. I clutched at my husband's arm as we continue our discussion with the doctor.

After an hour, I heard Blaine talking to Lizzie.

"You need to go home Liz, Dad and I will be here to stay with your brother. Grandpa and Grandma will sleep at our house tonight, to check on you." Blaine exhaustedly told our daughter.

"Promise me, you will call as soon as he's awake." Lizzie pleaded on his Papa.

"We will. I promise." With that, Blaine kissed her forehead before Lizzie walk up to me to say goodbye.

"Dad?"

"Hey sweetie, you're going home now?"

"Yeah, dad?"

"Hmm?"

"Steven needs you and Papa."

"I know. We will do this together for your brother. Okay? So don't worry too much."

"Okay. Love you dad."

"Love you too Liz."

**Blaine's POV**

Elizabeth left me to talked to his Dad before going home, leaving me alone sitting in a bench by myself.

When I heard my father in law…

"Hey Blaine."

"Burt." I smiled at him, as I give some space for him to sit on.

"I remember one time, when Kurt was 5 or 6 years old. He was pulling this cookie jar from a shelf in our kitchen, standing in a chair when he accidentally slipped up. He hit his head, there was blood and he's unconscious. My wife saw him first; so we rushed him to hospital, waited for the doctor's update, looked at the scans result, just like everything we do now. We were holding each other's hand each time the doctor appears; we reassured each other that our son is going to be fine, because that time. All we have is each other, and we're supposed to be each other's rock. After 7 hours of waiting it turns out that Kurt is fine but with a concussion there's no bleeding, and thanked God for that. We cried together upon seeing the result. I know that, something is going between the two of you. But I don't want to get in that because this is your marriage. It's just that, you two need each other now after what happened to my Grandson."

I listened carefully to my father in law, and he's right. The accident is like a wakeup call to both of us that we need to fix our marriage, for the kids and for us.

Burt gave me soft tap on the shoulder before leaving the hospital. Rachel and Finn with their kids stayed a little bit longer before Kurt pushed the four of them to go home with a promise of calling them as soon as Steven was conscious.

We silently drink our coffees waiting for the doctor to update us on whatever is happening to our son.

"You know, I am always awake whenever you're sneaking out in our bedroom." Kurt revealed softly.

"I know, because 1) your nose is wrinkling proving to me that you are not yet in deep slumber 2) your sleeping position. You never sleep without a pillow beside your body and 3). You're holding your breath every time I gave you a good night kiss."

"And you still continue to do that."

"Hmm. Because you never told me to stop."

"Because I never want you to stop."

"Then why I am still sleeping in the guest room?"

"Because we still doesn't figure out why you are sleeping in the guest room in the first place and why I am sleeping alone in our bed."

This is the one thing I love when Kurt and I talked; we were frank with each other.

"What happened to us, why are we like this?"

"I don't know. It just started when we seldom talk to each other. You know what happens to us every time we don't communicate."

"It's still our problem after 22 years of being together."

"I miss you." He murmured and continued. "Every time you sneak out in our bedroom to check on me all I want is to stop you and tell you to stay."

"But you never did. We were doing this for 6 months, and each time I do that I always hope that you'll stop me from leaving the room and you'll tell me that we should talk on what's happening in our marriage."

"I am terrified Blaine."

"Of what?"

"To know that you're falling out of love with me."

"You know that will never happen. What's going on, on that mind of yours?"

"The kids are leaving in few months for college, and I am afraid to know that if they were gone how are we going to work out? My insecurities told me that you just stayed with me for the kids... And..." Kurt is muffled by his sobs now, I looked around they are few people around because it's 4 am already. Maybe this is the right time to talk. I hold his hand and squeeze it telling him to listen and look at me.

"I didn't marry you because I want to have kids, if I did then I would just married a woman. I am with you because I love you and I see my future with you. With or without kids. Having the twins are like special offers that we took because we want to be parents. The way I feel for you is more than the way I feel back then when we were in high school, when we got married and when we had kids. Is 22 years of being married to you isn't enough to prove that I love you too much to leave you?"

"I still have this sore spot you know? Even it was years ago, you doing that thing to me; I'm still haunted by that memory. I'm having nightmares of the night in Battery Park."

I didn't reply I just continued to listen to him.

"I forgave you. That's why we agreed to get married and share this kind of life. It's just after that incident my insecurities resurfaced again, thinking if I was enough for you. And now that we were married for 22 years, that thought still troubled me. If I will be ever enough for you."

"I'm sorry Kurt. I know that I can't take back, the pain that I caused you because I gave in to temptations and I have no excuse for that. But how long are these memories going to haunt you? How long will I always be reminded of that awful action? Tell me, because even now I'm still willing to suffer just to erase that feeling from you and to pay for what I did to us."

I was crying by the time I told him all these feelings. That thing with Eli, they're always going to affect my relationship.

"What should I do, to prove to you that I am not neither leaving you nor this Family What should I do Kurt, to make you see that I am not repeating that mistake ever again?"

"I don't know…"

"I don't want to give up on us Kurt, but I can't blame you if you did."

He sniffled quietly…..

"I can't see us like this." I whispered.

"I heard you and the kids last night in the living room. Is it true? If I asked you for divorce will you give it to me?"

I held my breath as I answered Kurt's question.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because presenting me a divorce meaning that these can't be fixed anymore. And I don't want you and the twins to bear this kind of pain."

"What about you?"

"I am not going to be fine, but maybe I'll survive just like the first time."

I played with the wedding ring in finger as we listened to each other's breath, afraid that in some time were both going to lose it.

"Tell me you want to leave me, and you can't stand being married with a husband like me."

"I can't Blaine.."

"Please. That will make it easier on me to absorb all of these things." I begged with tears.

"I can't, because I don't want to leave you and I love you too much."

I cried harder as I heard Kurt's words..

Kurt just hugged me and we cried together. Like the night I told him about my hook up, we cried in the same bed with our backs facing each other.

"I'm sorry Blaine. That I always brought up your mistake, when in the first place I am a part of it on why you end up doing like that. It just hurts to be afraid that someday you will wake up and realize you don't need and love me anymore."

"That will never happen… I love you too much."

"We're going to fix this our marriage, and we should do this together."

"Maybe we can go to couple counselling."

"Yeah, maybe we need that."

I looked at Kurt and wiped his tears.

"Please tell me you love me." I asked.

He smiles softly, before holding hands and kissing me for the first time in 6 months.

When we pulled back, Kurt looked me in the eyes and squeezes my hands.

"I love you and everything about you, even your imperfections because that made me loves you more."

We were interrupted by Steven's doctor telling us, that his scans were all cleared no signs of bleeding and he's awake by now.

This is the start of us mending our relationship even little by little, it will never be easy but I know we will get through this just like we did in the first time... And in the end we will be stronger than before.

"Let's go see our son?" Kurt asked while holding his hand out with a smile on his face. The smile that I missed.

"Yeah, let's go." I replied as I took his hand wrapped my arms around him.

We're going to be okay, we're going to be fine..


End file.
